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Remember Your Essence
by Marlena Field

Do you remember what it was like to be so enthused about possibilities
 that nothing stopped you?

When we were girls between eight to ten years old, we were in the pivotal place between being a child and the beginning stages of adolescence. We were fully alive, curious about the world, masters of our creativity and enthused with the possibilities in life. We were not deterred by limiting thoughts about what was possible for our lives. Playful, yet purposeful, we had beliefs in our own ability even if we had no language for them. We knew, “This is me.”

In “The Girl Within”, Emily Hancock says, “...the 8-10 year old occupies an intermediate zone of childhood, an interim space between fantasy and reality that fosters creative self-ownership. A child this age enjoys a wholeness of self, a unity with the cosmos, a natural radiance.” And then, culture stepped in to direct our future path, messing with our perspectives. We were influenced by demands deemed to be in the feminine realm and were encouraged to conform and become compliant. Changes occurred.

Some aspects of ourselves went underground. We lost contact with our true selves. We may not have been aware that a loss occurred; that something essential was lost. Yet we have a yearning that niggles at us – a still small voice trying to get our attention in order that we don’t lose ourselves forever.

As women, we long to reclaim our essence, our lost self. Emily Hancock suggests that “...the task of a woman’s lifetime boils down to reclaiming the authentic identity she’d embodied as a girl.” Remembering these years from eight to ten years old is one key to reclaiming your essence. Remembering is powerful. It can produce a personal epiphany, much like a watershed - our reality shifts. The good news is that by “remembering” who we were and what we were all about can bring about the re-connection with self.

By remembering, we gain access to the girl and re-embrace her. We have the opportunity to tap into our clarity and inner wisdom again. We have an opportunity to remember those times when our essence was unleashed, unbridled and in full view. Anything was possible. We remember when our essence informed us, moved us, and inspired us, without thinking about it. Some women report that this was their first encounter with the divine, the mystical or natural forces - whatever that means to them. This was a touchstone of identity.

We invite you to create some quiet time, away from distractions, to be with yourself and your memories. Allow yourself to reflect back on being between eight and ten years old and notice what you remember. You may remember where you lived; your connection with family, friends and nature; some special experiences or adventures; your thoughts and aspirations about your future; your dreams; your essential nature. You may reflect on stories that others tell about you at that age, and how they portray you.
Take some time to answer these questions, in writing or as a mind map.
What were the highlights?

What did you know about yourself?

What seemed possible in your imagination?

What is the essence in these stories?

What were your dreams?

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Marlena Field, PCC, CPCC, CBCC
Professional Certified Coach

Salt Spring Island, British Columbia, Canada

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